


Change My Mind

by dawnperhaps



Series: Audio Posts [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-15
Updated: 2012-04-15
Packaged: 2017-11-03 17:04:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawnperhaps/pseuds/dawnperhaps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moiety. Noun. One of two equal parts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Change My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Written to the tune of "Change My Mind" by far beyond frail.  
> Also written for the Sabriel Week Daily Word Challenge (moiety).

“ _Sam_.”

Gabriel’s pretty sure that’s all he remembers how to say and maybe that’s his own fault.  He used up all of his best lines taunting Sam into pining him to the bed in the first place, and now that he’s thoroughly pinned, his hips held steady under Sam’s firm grasp and his legs parted obscenely, he scarcely remembers his own name.  Sometimes he wonders if Sam isn’t just a little bit psychic because there are these things he does with his tongue that he has no right to even know how to do.  In truth and when he has his ability to use his higher cognitive processes, Gabriel’s pretty sure that his silly human has just done a lot of research on the topic.  Gabriel can see Sam hunched over his computer while Dean sleeps, doing internet searches on the finer points of oral sex and rimming, his lips pursed and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he determines the probability that he’ll be able to do such things.  In their limited time together, Sam hasn’t once mentioned the possibility of Gabriel taking a female vessel or even using his mojo to appear female.  Gabriel thought this was a shame at first – he’d come up with some really witty responses – but the idea that Sam – a human, exposed his entire life to a normative gender binary – was seeing into Gabriel’s Grace and finding _that_ attractive hit him hard.  He wasn’t sure what to make of that at the time.  Now he does.

And Gabriel feels stupidly emotional tonight – not that Sam will be allowed to realize that – and he’s coaching himself through the realization that he’s more than smitten with Sam Winchester, his older brother’s one true vessel and starter and ender of Earth’s second apocalypse.  Sam Winchester, who believes in love and the goodness of other people, who shines so stupidly bright inside that enormously tall body of his that Gabriel can barely look at him straight on.  Gabriel has no business with him for so many reasons and that was okay at first.  But with Sam worshipping him the way he is right now, staring up at him through his eyelashes and assessing his enjoyment of Sam’s ministrations, Gabriel feels more than a little horrified that this is turning into something else, something he’d given up hope for.

Gabriel was never really a part of Heaven.  He certainly wasn’t equal to Michael and Lucifer, the golden children of the family.  As much time as he spent with Michael and Lucifer, as much as he loved them, he had never really felt like one of them.  He was a different breed of archangel somehow.  There was a time, however, when he thought he belonged in Heaven, before the war and the violence.  When he thought Heaven was about love and family and beautiful things like that, not about anger and resentment.  But angels aren’t as lovely and divine as Michael always led him to believe.  Or maybe they just couldn’t be, not in the world they lived in.  When he finally abandoned Heaven, it was hard, but maybe not as hard as it should have been.  If he were truly a part of Heaven, then he wouldn’t have been able to leave, wouldn’t have even been able to think about it.  If he truly loved Michael and the rest of his brothers and sisters, then he would have stayed no matter what.  But Michael had killed his hope for love when he cast Lucifer down, taught him that love was conditional, and if Gabriel wept when he fell, it was for the loss of that, not Heaven.

Sam makes Gabriel feel like a part of something again.  Gabriel feels like a whole again, better than the two equals of Michael and Lucifer.  Or maybe he feels like the other half of Sam Winchester, beautiful, courageous, and luminous in his own way, and maybe that’s better.

He comes with Sam’s name on his lips and, when Sam climbs up his body and asks if he did alright – a ridiculous question considering Gabriel’s hips were practically spasming in Sam’s hands – Gabriel almost tells him he’s in love.

“My turn,” he says instead with a wicked smirk he’s sure doesn’t reach his eyes, and if he hides his face when he flips them over, Sam doesn’t mention it.

_moiety. noun. one of two equal parts._


End file.
